“You gain strength, courage and confidence from every experience where you really stop and look fear in the face. You have to do the things you think you can’t do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Undergoing change VS triggering change
Needless to say, change is scary and most of the time what happens is that we find ourselves “suffering” change, driven – by circumstances, events, changes that happen around us… – to change as something necessary for our survival, as something that represents the only way out of a moment of crisis.
But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be that way!
Change can be triggered, programmed and can become our ally, a spring that pushes us towards the realization of our goals, and therefore towards happiness.
But before getting into the heart of the matter, a first statement is necessary: I have spoken of goals but it would be better to speak of dreams that can be achieved, dreams that, if looked at closely, have the characteristics to become projects and then goals. (Read also “A chest full of dreams“).
This foreword is important because the first step in being our own change-makers is to
learn to distinguish between dreams that should remain as such and feed our passion and our imagination remaining “in the drawer” and dreams that instead have the right of citizenship in our daily agenda.
So how do we make this distinction?
When a dream becomes a goal
The only way I know how to figure out what dreams can (and often should!) be turned into goals is to stop for a second and look at ourselves and our lives:
- What makes us happy?
- What do we care about?
- What activities would we like to spend more time on?
- What projects are providing us with the greatest satisfaction?
In order to do this, it may be helpful to follow a grid that somehow guides us through the process.
There is neither the time nor the space to go into details here, but if the topic interests you or you are just a little bit curious, you can take a look at CHI SE NE FREGA, FACCIO! an agenda (this is the italian version) which I have conceived from this concept and built in order to guide us in the planning of projects and goals that we care about!
That being said, once we’ve narrowed down one or more of the goals we care about, it’s time to fire up the engine of change and see where it takes us! Ready?
Planning change and making it ecological and functional to our well-being
Here we come to the very heart of the matter: the much-feared and much-hyped CHANGE.
It will amaze you how much we human beings are actually made to adapt, to restore a horizon of “normality” with surprising speed even in the face of upsetting changes, but if you stop to think about it, it is precisely our ease of adaptation that has allowed us to cross history and find order and balance even after natural disasters, world wars and large and small earthquakes that have crossed both the History with a capital “H” and our small personal or family history.
Human beings are able to adapt and get used to new things, which is precisely why it is possible to plan for and benefit from change, how?
First of all it needs to be introduced into our lives step by step, small steps in the right direction can take us a long way one day at a time and that is how, in my experience,
we can trigger virtuous circles and change our habits, thus gradually transforming our daily life into something that is more consistent with our needs and our deepest aspirations.
Of course it’s not easy, and it certainly takes a good dose of patience because it’s not immediate, but if we can stop suffering and start acting on the change I guarantee you that the satisfactions will not be long in coming and it could also turn out to be a lot more fun than expected 😉
For further details
Stop Trying to Change Yourself di Mark Manson
LIBRO -> L’arte del cambiamento di Giorgio Nardone e Paul Watzlawick